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Posted on: Jan 29, 2008
Energy Quest:
Aftershock Sugar-Free
WORDS BY: Dan Amrich & Corey Cohen
“Energy drink” used to mean “coffee.” Now it’s a euphemism for “high-caffeine soft drink brimming with various types of sugars, weird ingredients like taurine and guarana, and occasionally, a few useful vitamins.” Every so often, Dan (the Connoisseur) and Corey (the Junkie) will hold an informal, simultaneous taste-test in their search for the perfect power beverage — it’s their Energy Quest. It’s not scientific, but it is honest. And it might be extreeeeeeeeeeme.
Aftershock Sugar-Free
8.5-ounce can
http://www.aftershockenergy.com
Dan “The Connoisseur” Amrich
Describe the flavor: Like sugar-free Red Bull. Seriously ― it’s a darn close clone, and I don’t know that I’d be able to tell the difference in a never-see-the-can snifter showdown. That said, there’s a strong diet aftertaste and…a pre-aftertaste? I guess that’s just the “taste.”
Irritability (stomach): None.
Irritability (personality): None.
“The Jitters”: Not enough.
Focus & alertness: I was yawning within an hour. No energy drink should be that weak!
Negative impact on co-workers: Nobody cared.
Stank breath: Minor.
Packaging sex appeal: Light blue and silver with a Richter-scale motif? Kinda cool, actually. And there’s no mistaking this with other things on the market…except, um, sugar-free Red Bull, which also comes in a light blue and silver can.
How hard did you crash?: You can’t crash if you never fly.
Other comments: Just one problem: I don’t like sugar-free Red Bull. Didn’t like the taste, didn’t like the lack of effect…cool name, but that’s about it. It was wet, so it was more refreshing than sand.
The Verdict: 2.5 (out of 10)
Corey “The Junkie” Cohen
Describe the flavor: I’m with Dan ― Aftershock Sugar-Free tastes almost exactly like Red Bull Sugarfree: nicely tart (like regular Red Bull), but mixed with the numb flavorlessness that diet drinks often have. It’s not bad, but it’s pretty bland.
Irritability (stomach): None.
Irritability (personality): Nope.
“The Jitters”: None, although I do feel a faint tingling in my shoulders. Weird.
Focus & alertness: If I wanted a buzz this weak, I’d order a half-caff coffee at Starbucks and sip it like it scared me. I think Aftershock made me feel slightly more awake for a grand total of about 15 minutes (hey, one per calorie!). Maybe a serving is supposed to be three cans?
Negative impact on co-workers: Sleepy Corey = Grouchy Corey = negative impact on co-workers. This drink won’t do my career any favors.
Stank breath: A little. Nothing earth-shaking.
Packaging sex appeal: I do like the blue/grey colors and the Richter-scale imagery. And the “With B Vitamins” blurb grabs my attention.
How hard did you crash?: I barely noticed the buzz, so how could I miss it when it’s gone?
Other comments: So, it tastes decent and has almost no kick. Would you buy it? Didn’t think so. I’m not saying every energy drink should be a NOS-level caffeine-quake (because that’d be dangerous), but Aftershock is well-named in the worst way: it’s a tiny little ripple in the wake of bigger, better, stronger choices like Full Throttle, Monster, and even Red Bull.
The Verdict: 3.0 (out of 10)
Sat, 10/17/2009 - 21:17
Posted by wickland
Aftershock was really a gross drink...
Sun, 02/17/2008 - 19:19
Posted by shithead1213
they cant replace surgar with more caffine pure caffine as i remember was the nastyest gag me with a ...tree shit ud ever tast that just load the stuff with splenda ( which im not guessing thats acutally what they use) and thats the reason energy drinks even have alot of surgar is o cover up the beond shitty tast of caffeine ..........if u get a chance to tast caffine , inside of a pill or anywere elce u'll find im right............, Joe
Wed, 01/30/2008 - 18:15
Posted by roguesquad23
The only Aftershock I know about comes in a cinnamon flavor.
Wed, 01/30/2008 - 11:22
Posted by Dan OXM
No, I meant lack of effect by Aftershock itself. Bawls does the same trick with their sugar-free, replacing the sweet stuff with caffeine, and I'm not surprised to hear Red Bull does the same. But whether Aftershock was doing the same trick or not, I don't know -- but I barely got a charge out of it (and I still get charges out of other energy drinks, so it's not just me building up a tolerance).
Tue, 01/29/2008 - 19:59
Posted by The Boneweasel
Um Dan, when you said "lack of effect" were you referring to sugar-free Red Bull? Cause the sugar they dont put in is pretty much replaced by more caffeine...